The one hobby I keep abandoning and returning to

The cycle is: I get obsessed for six months, I buy too much gear, I plateau, I get sick of the gear, I quit, I sell the gear, six to eighteen months pass, and then I see one specific photo somewhere — usually taken by someone who is worse than I was — and I feel envious, and I buy a used camera on eBay, and I am back.

This has happened four times. I used to feel bad about it — the abandonment felt like a character flaw. What I have come to accept is that it is not one long project with breaks; it is four separate projects with the same medium. Every return I bring a slightly different attention. In my twenties I chased sharp landscapes. In my late twenties I got interested in street. In my early thirties I switched to film, entirely. This time (the fourth) I only shoot people I know.

The pattern probably applies to more than one thing. Some interests are meant to be intermittent. Not everything you love needs to be a continuous practice. Some things are seasonal for a lifetime, and each return you visit a slightly different version of yourself with the same tool. That is fine. The gear can be re-bought. The half-year at the beginning of each return is not lost time. It is the entrance fee.


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